I’m baaaaaaack!

A week of fun in the sun with my fam was PRECISELY what the doctor ordered…I am a brand new woman!

It’s amazing what more than 5 hours of sleep will do for a girl.

Do not disturb!

I have lots of things to tell you guys, but I was NOT the appointed Historian of the trip, so I need to wait for my seestah to upload some pix. (ahem, KATIE.) But in the meantime, and in light of the fact that poolside weather is HERE – I’d like to issue the warning that someone had given me before I sailed the high seas…

OK.  If you read this blog regularly, you know that I am wrinkle-obsessed. I have an unnatural relationship with my dermatologist (Hi, Jamie!), I prefer my tan in airbrush form, and I have become absolutely MILITANT about sunscreen.

It's not. And neither are the crow's feet. Fact.

Sunscreen is crucial. Not just at the beach or poolside and not just in the summer but EVERY. SINGLE.  DAY. At LEAST on your face, neck, and hands.  (old hands = dead giveaway.  Trust.)

That said, I love NOTHING more than parking myself in a lounge chair all day reading trashy novels, sipping cocktails, and taking dips in the nearest body of water (ocean, lake, pool, sprinkler system…whatever…I’m not picky!)

But since the plan is to look like this when I’m 80 (sorry, not sorry.) I generally rely on a combo/cocktail of the following…

Peter Thomas Roth SPF 15 mist

Blue Lizard Sport SPF 30 (bottle turns blue in UV light! Fun!)

Don't judge.

…which is usually pretty fool-proof. However: on day 1 (um, that’s right.  The first day.) I sat out in the BLAZING Caribbean sun, and while I finished both Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang…

Hilarious...but still preferred Are You There Vodka?...

And more than few of these bad boys…
…a few crucial areas of my body fried beyond all comprehension. I am talking LOBSTER CITY.  They were: my NOSE, my EARS, my SCALP, and my TOES  (and one random circle on my left leg.  Weird.)

Friends don’t let friends get weird sunburns. (Isn’t that how that saying goes?) So be sure and stock up on your SPF.

It’s officially bathing suit season!

xx, L

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Incredible things can happen!

"when you wish upon a STAR..."

Like…tickets to CHELSEA HANDLER @ the Fox magically appearing in my hot little hands!!  (The universe willed it so…) 

@ chelsea's 8:00 p.m. show!

What an unexpected turn of events!  I’d resigned myself to the fact that I’d most likely not be at either one of her Atlanta shows on Sunday, but then Slick + Stephen pulled through with tickets!  I was shocked.  What great guys! 

We grabbed a bite to eat at my favorite pre-Fox Theatre grubbery, Publik Social House.  It was very crowded – mostly with attractive women + a few fabulous guys who were all dressed up for the occasion, but we were still able to grab some delicious burgers and a few drinks prior to the show. 

the server's shirts @ publik

The show was SO much fun!  Heather McDonald, a regular on Chelsea Lately, opened and was pretty funny.  I thought she did a good job of warming up everyone for Chels. 

Heather McDonald

Ms. Handler, though, was ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL- she killed the crowd!  A lot of her material was from her new book (that I just finished, thank you very much), Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang.  Reading it was a hoot, but hearing her ridiculous stories from her mouth was totally incomparable.  I really didn’t want it to end…

Loved!

Although I didn’t pay for them (thank you so much, Slick!!), I have to say that I feel like the $90 tickets were worth every penny.  Our seats were in the far right corner of the theatre – which in theory wasn’t ideal, but we ended up having an excellent view and could hear everything perfectly.  Oh, it was so much fun!

chelsea swag @ the show

Let me know what y’all thought!  Did you go?  Did you love it as much as I did?!

Miss you already, Aunt Chels…  Come back anytime!

xx, L

Publik Social House
654 Peachtree Street
Atlanta, GA  30308
404.885.7505
www.publikatl.com

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Y’all.  This is BIG.  As many of you know, Chelsea Handler will be @ the Fox Theatre on March 28th for two shows on her Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang Tour*.

love!

One show is at 5:00 p.m. and there’s another at 8:00 p.m.  (With the way this woman takes down Belvedere Vodka, the 8:00 p.m. show is sure to be memorable…)  Tickets start around $80ish.  That’s old news, though…

absolutely brilliant

What I’m really excited about is a recently announced book signing Chels is having @ Outwrite Bookstore + Coffeehouse on Sunday, March 28 from 1:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.!!  As a frequent viewer of Chelsea Lately + proud owner of all three of her hilarious books, My Horizontal Life + Hello Vodka It’s Me, Chelsea + Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang (my book club’s book of the month) – I can’t wait to pawn off these babies to some kind soul willing to stand in line to get Ms. Handler’s famous John Hancock all over them.  (I have a conflicting wedding shower…)

Don’t miss the opportunity to meet this comedic genius!! 

FYI:  I showed up three hours early to get Amy Sedaris’ signature before her show in Atlanta and I wasn’t even close to the front of the line when she had to stop signing.  I’d suggest getting in line really early!  Outwrite is on the corner of 10th Street + Piedmont in Midtown. 

*Desperate Plea: With big, looming trips to Austin, Puerto Rico and upstate New York on the horizon, I needed to draw the excessive spending line somewhere.  So, sadly, I will not be attending Ms. Handler’s show.  However, if you’ve recently planted a money tree and would like a companion on the 28th – I can be that girl!  I can.  I’m that nice!  Just something to keep in mind…

If any of you are going to the show or happen to meet Chels – I want to hear e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.!

xx, L

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Over the month of December, my eating habits progressively start to resemble Chelsea Handler’s food diary from her book Are You There, Vodka?  It’s Me, Chelsea… 

(see below)

love. her.

CHELSEA’S FOOD DIARY

FRIDAY

Breakfast:  Scrambled egg whites with spinach and jack cheese

Lunch:  Chicken Caesar salad

Dinner: 2 crab enchiladas and 2 margaritas

SATURDAY

Breakfast:  Zone bar

Lunch:  Turkey sandwich with cheddar and mayo

Dinner:  Filet mignon with mashed potatoes/ 3 Ketel One and cranberries

SUNDAY

@ friend’s baby shower:
17 jalapeno poppers
1 brick of cheddar cheese/ 12 whole wheat crackers
14 chicken wings/ no bleu cheese dressing
1 bagel with low-fat cream cheese
34 strawberries
8 Bloody Marys
14 pigs in blankets

(At least she opted for the whole wheat crackers?)

At holiday parties, I often find myself forgetting about my tight-fitting New Year’s Eve dress and make a B-line for the refreshment table loaded with delicious carbs and empty calories for munching on while mingling.  Without fail, I’ll leave with a sugar headache and a hurt stomach. 

(torture)

Although I’ve never been big on dieting, my New Year’s resolution is always to “eat smarter.”  Keeping a trim waistline is important to me and this year I am going to try not to binge my way into early hibernation for the winter.  So, I’ve promised myself that I will keep in mind these three points when I attend a holiday party/ function:

1- Drink much more water.  (I am terrible at this.)  It’s good for you and it’s filling.  It will also help to keep my hands full and not mindlessly reaching for cake balls.  I’m certainly not giving up wine or liquor, but I think I can start incorporating water into my glass every other drink or so.  And, this will help to keep me better hydrated for the gym/ winter workouts.

2- Eat slower.  This is a big problem for me.  I eat WAY too fast.  My buddy, T.C., started purposely eating his meals slower and he said he’s seen significant improvement around the waistline.  This one is going to be hard for me to do, but I am going to really try.  I don’t feel great about myself when I’m overeating at holiday parties, and I feel like it would easier to be aware of if I ate a bit slower. 

3- Hold myself accountable.  I have too much inherent Jewish guilt already to tag on any extra guilt for overeating every now and then.  I cannot and will not keep a food diary.  But, I will strive to be more cognizant of what I am eating over the holidays.  For example, I don’t particularly love chocolate.  So, I have no reason to be eating it at a holiday party just because my conversation has become stagnant and there is a nearby bowl of Hanukkah gelt calling my name.  This is kind of ridiculous, but I am going to also try to envision what half a pizza or a large piece of apple pie (whatever food is taunting me at the moment) might look like on my thighs.  I have a creative imagination.  We’ll see if that works…

I think it’s all about baby steps.  I’m not planning on drastically changing my eating habits or depriving myself of foods I really want (heck , I had a hamburger and french fries at Leon’s last night), I just want to start myself off on the right foot before New Year’s resolution time.  Maybe this year my resolution will be about something other than food!

will be here before we know it...

Wish me luck – and feel free to comment about what has worked for you!

xx, L

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Over the weekend, Slick and I went to Jacksonville for a friend’s wedding at Sawgrass TPC and we had so much fun!  On Sunday, we went to the Jaguars game, and although the team won, I was the big loser because I picked up a pretty bad virus.  (Sexy, I know…)  So, aside from a morning run to the doc’s office yesterday to get tested for the flu (negative), I’ve been keeping myself busy with Facebook stalking and watching TV.  Since everyone else was at work and I was home all day long, I felt like I needed to watch something comforting.  I needed a familiar face.  A friend, if you will.  So, I watched approximately five hours of TiVo-ed episodes of Chelsea Lately.

Chelsea Handler

We all know that I have a girl crush on Sloane Crosley.  While I don’t necessarily have a crush on Chelsea, I definitely want her to be my best friend.  I think she’d get me.  We both grew up raising eyebrows at our parent’s interesting choice of motor vehicles, we have a special place in our hearts for vodka cocktails and little people, we’ve both been particularly entrepreneurial from a very young age and we are 1/2 Jews.  Further, we both love cake and appreciate the importance of a trusty sidekick.  She has one – I am accepting applications…  I am convinced that our friendship is meant to be.

Chelsea + Chuy

I’ve read exactly 155 pages of her newest New York Times Bestseller, Are You There, Vodka?  It’s Me, Chelsea, and I have been inducing coughing fits from laughing so hard.  She. Is. Hysterical.  This book, a collection of her personal short stories, is perfect for anyone who needs a good laugh.  “Chelsea in Charge” is my favorite chapter so far.  Slick and I read it together on the plane to JAX (he read it over my shoulder – refusing to hold the book because the cover has a little pink on it…) and we were in stitches. 

She also wrote this one:

I haven’t had the opportunity to read it yet, but it’s definitely on my list.

Anyway, Chelsea is absolute riot and totally worthy of your time if it is watching her on TV or reading one of her hysterical books.  I hope you enjoy her as much as I do!

xx, L

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